Bad Romance
by RachS
Summary: She's trapped in a dangerous place, torn between her love and her sanity, and she can't let go. One shot about Boq and Nessa's troubling relationship. Probably unnecessary rating to be safe.


Another Bessa one shot, hope you enjoy it!

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'_Fine, leave! Get out!'_

'_What?' Boq stared for a moment, unsure if he had heard correctly._

'_You heard me,' Nessarose spat at him. She was trembling from the anger she felt at that moment. 'If you hate me so much then why stay? I give you permission to leave. Go on!'_

'_Fine. I'm going.' Boq stormed out of the room and fled down the corridor. Nessa screamed in frustration and picked up the object nearest to her- the plate Boq had brought her dinner on – and flung it at the door. _

Just ten minutes had passed since Boq had left, and Nessa remained still, the harsh words spoken still echoing in her mind. She breathed deeply in an attempt to calm herself, and thought of Boq. He was bad for her and she knew it. Each bitter word, each fight, each threat was breaking her a little more; causing her to crack and slowly fall apart. She was trapped in a dangerous place, torn between her love and her sanity. Nessa knew it wasn't healthy but somehow she couldn't help it. Boq was pulling her life apart from the inside out and she was letting him. What was worse was that she didn't care. She didn't care that he knew how to hurt her, how to break her, how to make her cry. Nessa's love for Boq was keeping her prisoner at the mercy of a man who could crush her if he chose. Boq was like a drug and Nessa was addicted. That was the only reason she could think of why she couldn't let him go, even though being with him was tearing her apart.

Being with a man she loved but who didn't love her was torture, but she reasoned that it was better than being alone. This very reasoning had lately become something of a mantra to her. Every time Boq told her how much he hated her, or how he longed for Galinda – she flinched at the blonde girl's name – Nessa would remind herself that it was better than being alone. Whenever she found herself on the floor sobbing or screaming she would tell herself that maybe this was the best she deserved, and after all, she atleast still had the company of the man she loved, even if he did seem to take some twisted delight in breaking her. It wasn't as if she couldn't sometimes give as good as she got either; taunting Boq with the fact that Galinda would never love him.

Nessa moved over to her bed and slowly and carefully shifted onto it, a feat that was considerably more difficult without Boq's aid. As she lay back against the soft pillow she thought of this latest exchange between herself and Boq. It seemed as though they were becoming less and less capable of holding a conversation without it turning in to an argument. They were killing each other slowly with their words and actions. She had lost count of the number of times that, in the heat of an argument, she had screamed at him to leave, and he had said he would before storming out of the room. She would lock herself in her room and cry herself to sleep at the thought of being abandoned, but would always wake in the morning to find that he had gone no further than the kitchen, where he would be sleeping with his head on the table. He was as hooked on her as she was on him, only it was guilt on his part that was keeping him, rather than any vague emotional attachment. Or at least that's what he told himself. The fact that he always returned gave Nessa the belief that deep down he must love her, and even Boq himself was sometimes convinced of the fact, though he would never admit it. Why else would he always feel compelled to return when he should be running as far as he could in the other direction?

Nessa lay on her bed staring up at the ceiling, going over all this in her head and hoping - praying - that despite everything Boq would once again have returned by morning.

It was nearing dawn when Nessa awoke, having finally been lulled into a restless sleep by her relentless thoughts. It was the sound of a creaking door that caused her to wake, and as her eyes adjusted to the dark she became aware of a figure entering the room. In the starlight she could make out Boq's face; he looked tired and a little dishevelled. Nessa went to speak but Boq shook his head and put a finger to his lips. Nessa understood and remained silent. Boq moved to the bed and gently lifted the covers before slipping underneath them. He lay still for a moment and Nessa hardly dared to breathe. After a minute she slowly and tentatively reached out to hold his hand. He squeezed her hand in return and then put his arms around her, pulling her close to him. Though Boq hadn't said a word Nessa took this rare display of closeness as an apology. She rested her head on his chest and couldn't help but smile as he reached a hand up to stroke her cheek, before kissing her lightly. They lay there together, two people who seemed to love and hate each other in equal amounts, enjoying a rare moment of quiet before another inevitable storm. Nessa sighed as she allowed herself to imagine that everything was fine between them; that they wouldn't wake in the morning to begin the same routine once again.


End file.
